Have you ever been scared of doing something because you don’t know what’s going to happen?
I’m talking about things like –
- Going to a job interview
- Talking to a random girl you find attractive
- The first day of a new class
- Presenting in front of a large room
- Being the “new guy” at an intimate hangout with a group of people that all know each other
- Asking for help
- Making the first move on a girl
- Competing for something
- Doing something really scary like skydiving
I’m sure the uncertainty of the unknown scares a lot of you. But from past experience, you probably also know that things never turn out as bad as you think they will. It’s all in your head.
When things turn out better than expected you usually –
- Get really happy
- Your day is made
- You’re super excited and want to tell everyone
- You tell people how lucky you are
- You can’t stop smiling
- You’re on cloud 9
Here’s the problem with being scared or fearful of things that you have never done before.
When you’re scared, nervous, afraid, timid, uncertain of yourself….pretty much whenever you’re not super confident, it shows through. You might think no one sees that your face is a little red. You might not think they don’t hear your voice shake. You might think they don’t see the sweat on your face. Or see that your palms are sweaty. But the truth is….
When you’re afraid, it shows. Everyone can tell that you’re afraid when you have that mentality. People will see it right when they see you. This isn’t good.
Why It’s Not Good to Show Fear
In every interaction there is only one alpha male. And if you show signs of weakness like fear (through your voice, facial expressions, body language…) then the other person(s) interacting with you are going to take advantage of the situation to be the alpha male. This isn’t good because now you don’t really have control and the other person doesn’t respect you as much. Once the other person believes you are inferior to them and that you’re afraid, they have the upper hand.
Don’t give up control by showing that you’re afraid just because of a new situation or because of uncertainty of outcome in something you’re doing.
Do This Instead
Rather that show your true emotions when you’re afraid of concerned, act like you’ve been in this situation thousands of times and it’s nothing new to you. Even if you have never encountered whatever you’re about to do, act like you do it all the time and it’s no big deal.
Really this comes back down to thinking you’re the sh*t. You need to believe that everything always works out – even if it might not in this very instance, it will in due time so it’s not a big deal.
Instead of being the guy that says “I’m so nervous” or “I’m so scared”….”what if this….what if that…” be the guy that says “whatever”, “this is no big deal”, “f it man, it’s all good…just relax.”
Be the guy that acts like he’s been here before. This isn’t your first rodeo.
Not to mention, acting like you’ve already been there makes whatever you’re doing feel more natural so you won’t feel or look weird doing whatever you’re about to do.
Imagine it’s your first time trying to kiss a girl. How awkward will it be if you have no idea what you’re doing and rather than just be the smooth guy that goes in for the kiss, you get all nervous and start saying “I’ve never kissed a girl before…am I doing it right? How does it feel? Am I a good kisser? Want to kiss again?” Not cool. So act like you’ve done it a million times and everyone will think you did.
When You Act Like You Have Been Here Before
Not only will acting like you’ve been here before (in whatever you do) help you relax and be more confident, but people will, for some reason, believe you more. It’s usually becomes you come off so confident and sure of yourself.
Always remember it’s never what you know or what you say, it’s how you say it. This includes how you act, your body language, your voice tone, and your eye contact. By acting as if you’ve been there before you have all these characteristics in order for people to say “wow, this guy is the man!!! A f-ing BOSS.”
Remember, you’re acting like you’ve been here before. So any positive outcome, whether it’s getting the job offer, getting the girl, or winning at something….is suppose to happen so it’s just another day in the life.
How To Act Like You’ve Been There Before
This is mainly a mental thing. But it’s really easy. Listen carefully.
Just act. like. you’ve. been. there. before.
This means mindf*cking yourself into pretending this isn’t a big deal. You’ve done it a million times. Go into situations feeling good, confident and a little cocky.
Confident and cocky. These are the two things you should do to act like you’ve been there before.
- Going up to a hottie to chat her up for the first time? No problem. Pretend like you’re a smooth criminal and you’re a pro at it.
- Big interview for your dream job? Whatever. Pretend like this is just another interview and they need you more than you need them.
- Presenting in front of a large room of strangers? Happens to you all the time! They’re all there for you. You’re the boss.
Remember, acting like you’ve been there before is a mental thing that can do wonders for your confidence. It will keep you calm and collected, relaxed and confident. It will even make you seem more attractive to people because you’re just so cool about everything.
Next time you’re in a situation where you don’t know what to expect or your hearts racing, relax and just act like you’ve been there before. No one needs to know the truth.
Be Cool. Be Confident. Be Cocky. Be Alpha.