I used to feel bad for people that got treated like shit. But that was before I knew any better. I used to think some people were just rude and treated people poorly. I was naïve. The truth is, people that get disrespected, let people disrespect them.
I’m not saying these assholes that treat people like shit are A-Okay. Far from it. Most of them are beta males themselves that want to bring other people down to make themselves feel good about their own shitty lives. But there’s no point on focusing on these individuals. They are who they are and we shouldn’t give them the time of day.
Rather, let’s talk about what you need to do in order to not let people disrespect you.
Whether you believe there is such a thing as alpha or beta males/females, one thing is true – some people get more respect than others. But why is this?
- Is it because someone is more muscular?
- One person is more masculine?
- Someone is a bigger bully than everyone else?
- The alpha has bigger balls than everyone else?
- He/she is more attractive than others?
You could argue yes those are the reasons, to all of the above questions. But it actually comes down to something even more simple than all that alpha beta characteristics.
It comes down to how you think and act. I’m going to group this into “how you act.”
You heard me right. If you act a certain way, you will be respected or disrespected.
Am I full of shit? Nope. It’s the truth. Unfortunately, too many people “just don’t get it.”
One thing I learned very early on in life is that if you want to be treated like a b*tch, act like a b*tch. This goes for your social life and your professional life. I’ll give you an example to hit the point home.
I used to work with a lot of executives at Goldman Sachs. Not executives like Vice Presidents at the firm (everyone is a VP at these investment banks). I’m talking about Heads of Divisions and Partners of the firm. The ones that think their time is more important than yours and they are better than you because they make more money.
If you put people on a pedestal and believe you are inferior to them, then it will show through not only in how you act but how you are perceived. They’ll treat you how you want to be treated. They’ll say they’re busy. They’ll talk down to you. They’ll give you orders to do this and that for them.
But if you talk to them like a human being and you could care less about what their title is or how much money they’ve made – you’ll get treated with respect.
Just think about some of these executive assistants that work for high profile people. I remember I used to interact with one that worked for the CFO of Goldman Sachs. She was direct and got what she wanted, when she wanted it. Why? Because she had the right mentality. She knew she was only an assistant. But she wasn’t going to take people’s B.S. She knew how to act and had the right mentality that no one was better than her. If an assistant can get respect from an entire firm, why can’t you?
Sadly, the world doesn’t have a lot of people that know how to act to get respect. Too many of us are too nice or too scared of upsetting other people or too concerned about how important someone’s time is (like your time is less valuable) that they act like a scared child hoping not to get in trouble. They speak passively. They apologize profusely. And they just take orders and work hard. They just don’t want to get in trouble.
If you act like a peon, you’ll get treated like a peon. If do you do what a subordinate does, you’ll get what treated like a subordinate. This is potentially forever. Not even joking. Why? Because when someone decides its time to put someone in a leadership position or think of someone that can lead – they won’t think of you if you’re the peon with the peon mentality. What gives them the confidence that you can be “the guy/girl?”
The one’s that get ahead in life and get the respect that we all deserve are the ones that believe they deserve it. They are confident. They speak with conviction. They know that they are just as good, if not better than other people (even if they haven’t made it there yet).
- If your goal is to get promoted
- If your goal is to get people to treat you better
- If your goal is to have people give you respect
- If your goal is to be held in high regard
Then stop acting like a fool.
Here are some simple do’s and don’ts
If you’re getting treated like shit, don’t throw a tantrum and demand someone respect you. No one cares if you throw a fit. I once had a manager do this to some guy that continually disrespected her.
Peon Manager: “You can’t talk to me like this! You owe me an apology! I am going to talk to HR!”
Boohoo peon manager. Sure you scared this one other loser that treated you like shit but this doesn’t change how everyone else perceives you.
Change how you act and how you think and everyone will treat you better. Throw a tantrum and get emotional and you only put a band-aid on a larger problem.
- Don’t take orders your whole life.
- Learn how to lead.
- Learn to be more direct.
- Speak to people with conviction.
- Stop thinking people with “titles” are more important than you
- Stop believing that you don’t belong or don’t deserve respect
If you find yourself acting like a scared child in the workplace or in any of your other relationships/interactions – read this post again. And then tell yourself to stop acting like a beta loser and start acting like you’re the man (or woman).
Be bold. Be Alpha. Don’t be a loser your whole life.