Take Control of Your Life

I’m currently working on a post about having  conversations and examples of good conversations. But until that is done, I thought I’d give some examples of terrible conversations that will get you nowhere in life.

Communication is a key to success in this world and if you want to be alpha you gotta know how to talk to people.

Not only should you know HOW to talk to people but you should know HOW NOT to talk to people. So with that said, let’s break down terrible conversations.

I don’t want to go into a lot of detail about shitty conversations but I will say there are a lot of them out there. Every opportunity to talk to someone is a chance to develop some sort of relationship – professional, social, romantic…it doesn’t matter.

But so many of you guys (and girls) are killing your chances with conversations.

Examples of bad conversations

Person A: Good morning
Person B: Good morning
(nothing else is said)

Person A: Hi, how are you?
Person B: Good
(nothing else is said)

Person A: Hi how are you?
Person B: Good, how are you?
Person A: Good, thanks.
(nothing else is said)

Person A: This weather is good isn’t it?
Person B: Yea it’s not too bad

Person A: Hey nice shirt!
Person B: Thanks

Person A: Hi how may I help you?
Person B: (just gets help – nothing else is said)

Person A: Wow you have really nice teeth!
Person B: Thanks

Guy: Hey I think you’re really cute
Girl: Thanks
(silence. Guy feels rejected)

Guy: Hey what are you drinking?
Girl: Gin and tonic!
Guy: Cool!

Lost tourist: Excuse me, do you know where Time Square is?
New Yorker: Yea, just go straight down
(and goodbye)

Starbucks Barista: Hi, how are you? How May I help you?
Customer: Can I get a tall coffee please?
Customer: (pays) Thank you
(coffee time)

There are so many conversations we have each day with people that can turn into something so much more if we really want them to. But so many of us don’t think of conversations as an opportunity to meet someone new. We just think of our conversations with people as business transactions. Get in, get out. 

What you have to sometimes is take the lead and carry the conversation. People are usually friendly people (unless you catch them on a bad day) but no one expects to have normal conversations with strangers – thats why it doesn’t happen that often.

Let’s revisit the examples above and this time LEAD the conversations to potentially something more.

Revised Conversations

Person A: Good morning
Person B: Good morning, how’s your day going?
Person A: Good, how about you?
Person B: Not too bad. Just working on some new project on satellites. What’s so good about your morning?

Person A: Hi, how are you?
Person B: Good Pretty good, just waiting for the day to end so I can go grab a beer with some buddies in town. How’s your day going?

Person A: Hi how are you?
Person B: Good, how are you?
Person A: Good, thanks.
Person B: Really? What’s so special about your day?

Person A: This weather is good isn’t it?
Person B: Yea it’s not too bad
Talking about the weather is such a cop out to having an actual conversation. Get to know someone. No one cares about the weather.

Person A: Hey nice shirt!
Person B: Thanks
Person A: Where did you get it? (describe what you like about it, talk about how it’s unique to other shirts)

Person A: Hi how may I help you?
Person B: (just gets help – nothing else is said)
Why not try throwing in a compliment too to add a friendly little twist to the conversation?

Person A: Wow you have really nice smile!
Person B: Thanks
Person A: My name is James. What are you up to today?
Conversations don’t always have to stay on the same topic or flow a certain way. A simple compliment can lead to so much more if you let it.

Guy: Hey I think you’re really cute
Girl: Thanks
(silence. Guy feels rejected)
There is so much that can be done in a conversation like this. The girl can say “I think you’re cute too!” or the guy can introduce himself similar to the example above. Don’t just let conversations die.

Guy: Hey what are you drinking?
Girl: Gin and tonic!
Guy: Cool!
Guy: Hey awesome. Cheers! (put your glass out for a toast) What are we going to toast too?
Try being playful and fun rather than just asking a boring question!

Lost tourist: Excuse me, do you know where Time Square is?
New Yorker: Yea, just go straight down. Where are you from? How do you like it out here? 
(and goodbye)
Every conversation is an opportunity to learn about someone. You never know who you’re going to meet.

Starbucks Barista: Hi, how are you? How May I help you?
Customer: Hi (read name tag), I’d like a tall coffee today. (while paying) How’s your day going?
Connect, connect, connect. Do you know how special you’ll make someone feel just by calling them by their name when they least expect it?

The Takeaways

Having conversations and meeting new people should be a fun experience. It’s an opportunity to build your network, have new friends, learn new things and potentially have new lovers.

Talking to people should not be boring. It should not be scary. You should not be afraid of making connections with people.

If someone doesn’t offer a lot when you try to talk to them – lead the conversation until they warm up to you.

You never know what someone can offer. Maybe they know someone that can help you out. Maybe they have experiences and lessons they can share with you. Maybe they are someone you want to get to know better. You just never know. Even in the event that a person can’t offer you anything, you have the opportunity to brush up on your social skills.

Try out some of these tips and see if they enhance your life. I think you’ll find that people are really friendly people – they just need a little help to get out of their shell.

Be Alpha.

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