Take Control of Your Life

It’s been a really busy week here in New York so I haven’t gotten to a lot of stuff but I want to give you some simple tips for making people like you.

These tips can help you wherever you go, wherever you are.

  • For the guys just heading off to college, these tips will help you make new friends.
  • For people that meet new people or get introduced to others, these tips will help you build new connections.
  • For the guys that are trying to meet new women to date or hook up with, this will make them like like you (but no guarantees it ever leads to anything).

These are tips that work and can get people on your side.

Tip #1: Be friendly

Use your smile to your advantage. A smile brings peoples guard down and make you look friendlier. Even a simple “Hey how are you” with and without a smile convey very different vibes.

Tip #2: Be outgoing

People are always hesitant to talk to strangers because….well they’re strangers. Some people are shy. Others are reserved. Some just don’t expect to have a conversation with a stranger.

So lead the conversation if you need to. Talk a little. Say something funny or make some comments. Let them warm up to you.

Tip #3: Get Personal

No one likes boring conversations about the weather or work. Talk about things that matter to you and to the other person. By getting personal or at least having the other person get personal they feel like you know them better. This psychologically makes them feel more connected to you.

Tip #4: Find Commonalities

People like people that share the same interests as them. Find ways to connect. Maybe they are interested in a certain subject – even if you aren’t, you should be interested in learning more. But if you are, even better!

Tip #5: Be Really Interested In The Other Person

Make sure you actually listen to what the other person is saying. Be engaged. Pay attention. Don’t text or check your email when you’re talking to someone else. The most important person is the person you’re talking to.

Tip #6: Surprise People With Kindness

People rarely do nice things out of the goodness of their heart for others. So many people believe they should get something in return if they are doing something nice. This is why you will stand out from the pack if you surprise people with kindness.

I like to buy the interns donuts. The secretaries coffee. I write people holiday cards. I do these things not expecting them to return the favor but because I know it makes them feel loved. In return they love me, because no one else is doing this.

Even though I don’t expect anything from my random acts of kindness, you will get paid back in so many ways whenever you need anything because everyone you were nice to wants to help you. You leave a great impression with random acts of kindness.

Tip #7: Remember People’s Names

Learn people’s names. Write them down. Call them by their name the next time you see them.

They might now remember your name when you see them again….but they will! You make people feel special when you remember their name. Everyone wants to feel special. They won’t forget you next time around.

You can do the name thing anywhere. Starbucks, restaurants, work, school, it doesn’t matter. This one works everywhere.

Tip #8: Involve People

Making an offer to invite people to join in on stuff. Everyone likes to feel like they are wanted – even if they don’t accept.

A simple “hey do you wanna join us?” or “yea next time you should really come with us” or “I’ll have to invite you next time” can really make someone say wow, this person really likes me. In return they like you because you want to include them in something.

Tip #9: Look Out for Other People

People matter. When you learn this you will make people really like you.

Whether it’s in the workplace or socially you want to look out for people you want to be on your side. So many people in this world are selfish and only care about themselves that this is a great way to separate yourself from the masses.

If you’re working with people in groups or teams, don’t throw people under the bus and put blame on others you work with. Rather try to look out for each other and make each other look better. The goal is not always about making yourself look good but protecting others or boosting other people’s reputation.

Tip #10: Offer to Help / Connect People

Being resourceful is a great way to become someone people want to know. Be a connector. By this I mean try to help people meet other people or obtain resources they would have a difficult time obtaining on their own.

  • Jobs
  • Girls
  • Friends
  • Contacts
  • Hook-ups to discounts and what not

These little favors can go a long way and people won’t forget how selfless you were.

Tip #11: Be the Motivator

Be someone that inspires and has words of encouragement. People love being around someone that is positive and believes in them. They will see you out for advice and for conversations when they need a little “pick me up” or help making life decisions.

You want to be the guy that people think of when they need to talk about something.

People want to feel good. They want reassurance. They want motivating stories and guidance. This is your chance to be that person. And one day when they “make it” they will be forever grateful and bend over backwards to repay you.

Tip #12: Lead by Example

Everyone can talk. But not everyone can show.

The best way to be someone people want to look up to and like is by being the guy that did it. What is “it”? It’s whatever you set your mind to and pursue.

So many people in this world have dreams and aspirations but are handicapped by fear. They don’t always believe something is possible. And even if they see someone do something, they always want to know how it was done, what steps were taken, what did you do, how you prepared, what you said…etc.

By actually doing things and achieving success, people will want to pick your brain and be around you. And if you have learned anything at To Be Alpha, it is that anything is possible if you put your mind to it and take action.

Do What You Can

You don’t need to hit all of the tips listed above to make people like you. Just one is fine. But the more you can do the more people will think positively of you.

All of the tips provided are ways for you to connect and build a relationship with someone. Always remember that relationships are between you and someone else. It’s not just about you. There are give and takes.

Make people feel good. Make people feel important. 

Be Alpha.

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