Take Control of Your Life

The Myth of the Alpha Male

Guys that want to be alpha come up with some crazy ideas of what an alpha male is.

Hopefully you’re not one of them. But if you are, I want to help you understand the difference between what an alpha male is and what many guys think an alpha male is.


The problem is you have a lot of people telling you what alpha is. You need to be careful who you trust and listen to.

  • The media
  • Hollywood
  • Books
  • Websites (self-help)
  • Youtube
  • Friends
  • Family
  • Your own imagination

There are some legitimate sources out there but they are far and few between.

Just a scan of Youtube and you’ll find a bunch of beta males trying to tell you what an alpha male is.

I don’t want to name names but how can anyone trust some of these guys? You shouldn’t trust just anyone because you will get bad advice and end up doing more harm than good.

As much as I want to say fuck this guy and fuck that guy they are all scammers, I won’t. That’s not what I’m about. I’m here to help you and that is my focus.

Be careful who you listen to. There are a lot of internet scammers just trying to take your money.

Misconceptions of Being Alpha

So you want to be an alpha male because it’s better than being a little beta. I don’t blame you.

Chances are your life will be 100x better as an alpha male than a beta male. I applaud you on taking on this challenge to be alpha. It’s completely worth it.

But some guys have this idea of the alpha life and I hate to tell you but it might be nothing like what you think it is.

If you google anything about being an alpha male, most likely you will get a website about getting laid or picking up chicks. Sex sex sex. That is what alpha is like to a lot of scammers trying to sell you on being an alpha male.

Very few tell you what the alpha life is really like.

  • It’s not all about girls.
  • It’s not all drama free.
  • It’s not all about making money.
  • It’s not about having celebrity status.

The above is a byproduct of being alpha, yes. But it’s not WHAT alpha is.

The alpha male is an all encompassing man with a strong positive mentality, good life and doing what he wants to do. If you have this combination, life works out how you want it to.

You can make money without being alpha. And you can get girls without being alpha. But having the two don’t make you alpha. Don’t get sold on these ideas.

If you want to be alpha read up on what an alpha male is.

Mythical Alpha Males

If I asked you to describe what an alpha male is, what would you say?

What if I asked 100 other guys what an alpha male is, what do you think they would say?

And what if I asked 100 girls?

Well lucky for you, I actually did ask 100 guys and 100 girls what their idea of an alpha male is. I’m going to make those results available soon. I think you’ll be surprised. (will try to post this July 4 weekend if I find time between partying)

Until then, I want to tell you what an alpha male is not. The reason this is important is because I don’t want you to act like an idiot or wonder why you aren’t making progress as an alpha male.

What An Alpha Male Is Not

Thinking Money Solves Everything

Lots of beta males are brought up believing that they need to go to a good school and get a good job. They need to make as much money as possible.

Money solves everything. Money buys happiness.

Here’s what I can tell you about money and the alpha male. Yes having money is great. You can do a lot of things with money and it can add to your experiences and what you have in your life.

But money does not solve your problems. You might think I’m full of shit and that’s fine. But here’s what I know from my own experience money can only do so much. Sure you can buy things and do things when you have money but it doesn’t make you alpha.

You can still feel like a loser when you have cash in the bank.

If you think buying nice cars, suits, watches and all that good stuff makes you alpha, you’re wrong. You’re just hiding behind material things.

Money might make you feel cool. It might impress other people. But there are so many wealthy betas in the world that throwing money. Don’t be one of these guys.

Being An Asshole

Some beta males have this image that an alpha male is an asshole. Betas get disrespected so often in their life that they just want to be on the other side and treat people how they’ve been treated.

Beta males think an alpha male has to have power over other people. So they try to act like an asshole.

Being rude and disrespectful and thinking you’re better than everyone is not how you become alpha. Having confidence and high self-esteem are great but you won’t get a lot of respect if you are an asshole.

The Gym Rat

Bigger is better. This is true.

But muscles and lifting a lot of weights don’t make you alpha. There are plenty of men that hide behind insecurities and think if one day they are big and muscular they will be alpha.

If you’re going to get in shape or get ripped – do it for yourself first and foremost.

You shouldn’t be going to the gym because you think that if you have muscles you’ll be alpha. Some people might look at you differently, yes, but if you still don’t have the right mentality or other intangibles in place then you won’t get very far.

Don’t be the meat head. 

One thing is for true though – You will feel better about yourself if you start working out. People will think you look better (healthier) and girls might be more attracted to you.

The Douche Bag Wannabe

Some of you guys watch The Jersey Shore or some other television show and think being a douche bag is alpha.

Or you think saying stupid shit and acting like like a wanna be bad ass is going to make you alpha. People can see past this act, even though you might not.

This is not alpha. This is being obnoxious. This is what you do if you want to be a complete joke and have people make fun of you and laugh AT you (not with you).

Because a lot of guys think alpha is about getting laid, I need to also say this. The douche bag does not get laid as much as you think he might. He might be more aggressive than a lot of you are but chances are if he’s pulling any girls he’s pulling low quality.

Having a lot of girl friends – THE BFF

Having social status and a lot of friends is a part of the alpha life. But thinking you’re alpha because you have a lot of friends that are girl is the beta mentality.

Bragging and Name Dropping

Have you ever heard the saying “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”?

This is true. Your network is really your net worth.

But name dropping and bragging is not the way to alpha. Sure you might think it’s impressive that you know someone that does x,y,z. But this is amateur hour.

Don’t go out of your way to just name drop. It only makes sense to mention names if you can actually help someone. Don’t do it if you’re looking to impress or gain some sort of validation.

You’ll end up looking like a bragger. People will find you annoying.

The same goes with talking about your accomplishments and bragging in general. There are ways to do this and not seem conceited – but we are not going to go into that right now. Just be careful that you’re not excessively talking about yourself. This isn’t alpha.

The Guy With a Job Title

This is one of the biggest misconceptions about being alpha. So many people think that the alpha male is chosen based on their title.

This doesn’t have to be a job title but that’s mostly the case. Think about it for a moment –

  • Doctor
  • Professor
  • Guru
  • Coach
  • CEO
  • Head of (whatever department)
  • Manager

You can come up with more job titles to add to this list – what I’m trying to show is lots of beta males think someone with a job title is someone they have to respect or listen to.

Don’t be suckered into thinking this way.

Sure someone can have a title but that doesn’t mean they know anything. So many people play it off like they are experts or leaders based on what is on their business card.

Personally I have seen this many times. Some beta males that somehow get promoted think they deserve respect based on their fucking title. The problem is they are still beta.

The way they act, the way they talk, the way they think – a job title doesn’t change this.

You should always want to be the best. But don’t strive for a job title and think once you have that you will become alpha. There are plenty of people with good job titles that are walk jokes.

Focus on what it really takes to become alpha not these external labels.

The Know It All

Betas have this idea that alpha males always have to be right. They also think alphas have this ego about them that they must always have a comment.


Alpha males know when to speak and when to listen. 

Too often I see wannabe alpha males thinking they need to say a stupid comment just so people know they exist. They end up just looking like a fool where people wonder “why the hell is this guy opening his mouth.”

Here’s the truth. You don’t always have to be right. And you don’t always have to say something.

Alpha males surround themselves with smart people because they know they don’t know everything. They know what they know.

Alphas also listen. And make comments when necessary. They don’t talk just to hear themselves talk.

The Hard Worker

Society has this idea that if you work hard, you will advance in life.

People buy into this idea and kill themselves putting in hours doing meaningless work. Beta males in particular.

Unfortunately, when they don’t see the promotions or reap the benefits of all that hard work they wonder “what the hell?”

Here is the secret no beta male knows. 

You need to do the work of a king to be the king. If you work like a peon, people will treat you like a peon.

In this case a peon is a beta male. They put in a lot of hard work but never completely get the respect they want.

I used to work for some super nice beta males. One in particular had this grand idea that if she came into the office early and stayed late, her boss would notice and reward her.

Long story short, this beta male never got promoted and never got a raise. What she got was more work because she was seen as a “doer” not a leader.

Hard work can get you places but smart work is wiser. Don’t think just going through the motions and putting in the hours is what is going to make you alpha.

Disrespecting Women

I personally don’t think there’s ever a place to blatantly be disrespectful to anyone, women in particular.

Yes there are times you should just ignore or walk away (don’t waste your time). But in general, slapping asses and saying rude things like “you want to fuck” or some variation of that does not make you alpha.

We talk about how to screen and escalate with women if you are interested but the above if not how you do it.

Not just sexually, but professionally you should not demean or look down on the opposite sex. Chances are they may be as alpha or even more alpha than you and maybe even more intelligent.

Some of you guys are getting really bad advice and think being disrespectful is the norm for being alpha. Don’t let this be you.

Always Busy

There’s two things I want to say about this myth of being an alpha.

The first is that beta males think being super busy makes them super important. This isn’t always true.

There is busy good and busy beta. 

Not making time for yourself, for friends, for family for life is not alpha.

The next thing I want to talk about are smartphones.

Smartphones have changed the game for beta males. 

Almost everyone has a smart phone nowadays. The difference between alpha and beta is that alphas know when to put the smartphone away.

You don’t need to check your email and text messages every fucking second of the day.

  • Put it away when you are in a meeting or talking to someone.
  • Put it away when you are at dinner.

You aren’t going to impress anyone by disrespecting them by checking out your cell phone when you should be focused on whoever you are with.


Some beta males think if you are afraid of them, you will respect them.

These wannabe alpha males try to intimidate their way to respect. What they end up doing is making themselves look weak.

I’ve heard this story many times over. 

Someone thinks they are alpha and uses some intimidating tactic. It can be as simple as “you got a problem?” or raising their voice.

Whoever they try to intimidate usually has a negative view of the wannabe alpha. They start to talk shit on them to everyone and others agree that the guy is weak, insecure and a loser.

You might dare someone if you are aggressive and intimidating but you won’t be able to lead them or be seen as alpha to them or anyone else.

Don’t look weak by going this route. You won’t be alpha.

Wants To Fight

Much like intimidating is beta, so is wanting to get into fights.

Alpha males know two things –

  1. Fighting rarely solves anything
  2. Fighting is only necessary when defending or protecting yourself or loved ones

You might think this is “weak” or “beta” to not want to fight but its not. I’m not saying don’t ever throw a punch and instead just walk away from everyone that tries to start trouble with you.

It’s a good idea to know how to defend yourself and even learn how to fight.

But it’s not necessary to get in a bunch of fights just to show how masculine you are.

Typical men think that fighting might impress others, especially the opposite sex. By fighting, betas think, you are being a real man.

False. Don’t get into altercations for the hell of it. You’re an idiot that will probably get your ass knocked out one day if you keep it up.

Oh and one more thing. If you are going to get in fights, learn how to fucking fight. There are so many “tough” guys out there that have no clue how to even fight. I think most of them that start confrontations for no good reason should in fact get their ass beat. Just my personal feelings. Don’t let this be you!

The Loud Monkey

Some guys try to draw attention to themselves by being loud.

Maybe you’ve seen this around the city or while you’re out at night.

Obnoxious and loud is not alpha. 

Yes, you can make people look at you by being loud but its unlikely that others will say “oh look at that loud obnoxious alpha he is a bad ass.”

There are better waist o make yourself standout if your goal is to be alpha.

Yelling stupid shit and making weird noses to draw attention is not alpha. If you are doing this, stop now.

Final Thoughts

There are a lot of ideas of what an alpha male is and is not in this world.

I believe a lot of beta males buy into the wrong idea of what an alpha male is because they don’t know any better. If this is you then please read this post again carefully and make sure you are not going about being alpha incorrectly.

There are a lot of betas that are trying hard to be alpha in the world. They walk around thinking they are hot shit when the truth is they get little respect.

The goal here is not to poke fun of anyone that acts like any of the above descriptions but to open your eyes and let you know these mindsets and behaviors are not alpha.

Do you have any ideas on what an alpha male is or is not? Have you seen any guys trying to act alpha but end up looking like a fool? Please share in the comments below.

As always, like and share the article. Help the people around you be better.

Be Apha.

Additional Resources:

  • How To Deal With Beta Males
  • How To Deal With Fake Alpha Males
  • The First Steps to Alpha

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Zak Alpha

    Another gold post my friend. I know a lot of these betas you describe. Definitely sharing this post to make the world a more alpha place!

  • AK

    I read this whole thing twice and it pisses me off that I’ve been listening to other people tell me being a dbag is the way to go. Zero girls have been receptive to it and all my friends keep asking what I’m doing.

    Granted I don’t care what people think, I want to be AM not fake AM.

    • Good man – hopefully this helps you with the rest of your life. All the best AK.

  • Calm and Collected

    I know a few people like this, they brag about what they have how tough they are, who they know, where they go, what they own, how many people they have fought, how big their dick is, and how they are so “tough” and “dangerous” that they gained respect. They go on and on about their status, and at first they seem like they could be an AM until you see the cracks in the facade. Generally the biggest sign is lack of planning for the future and a mindset that because they are big and tough and attractive (or in the case of women wannabes tall, busty, and hot) they are Alphas, they always have to point out how Alpha and dominant they are and repeat how they don’t care what others think of them despite acting the opposite and insulting others. If you question them or even subtly show your dominance they freak out and they are never wrong not even if they are faced with the truth, claiming their world is horrible and sucks yet at the same time saying “but it’s ok”, if they are faced with a calm response to their reaction they keep going in a attempt to maintain their facade. However if they are told to do something they generally do it like a good beta, especially if their other half is involved (this S/O is generally a parasite, but the beta alpha excuses that in every possible way), and they hate real Alphas.

    They claim they are more experienced and know how the world works, they forget one of the main things an Alpha knows is he/she doesn’t know everything and is always improving; they can never seem to make up their mind and change their views every other day. They can fake the Alpha calm and use terms like “You can never understand” or try to be mysterious but when under pressure they show how beta they are, and once you realize that it is almost laughable. Oh and they repeat their lines all the time, as in they use the same material over and over without elaborating and if asked to elaborate they fall back to “you can’t understand” or something similar; they also get irritated very quickly.

    I swear they are ruining the name of real Alphas like the Locusts ruined the crops of egypt.

    • Hey Calm and Collected

      You said a lot of great things here. I agree with your points. Its unfortunate but as long as you know what it takes to be alpha then it’s all good. Let these posers be. Unless of course you’re trying to be the alpha male in the group, then I suggest you call them on their shit and question what they say and explain to them the truth. Just make sure you speak with confidence and conviction. That’s probably the best way to make them feel inferior to you. Then they will know their role.

      It’s a sad reality that there are a lot of wannabe alphas that don’t really understand what it really means to be alpha. But this is why not everyone is AM.

  • Tyrone Copperpopper

    I know a lot of guys like this. Every man wants to be this macho, tough guy who gets all the girls

    But I’d guess only about 1-5% of them actually are (though 5% seems highly unlikely). It’s easy to tell who the real alpha in a group is; just look at who the girls go for. It’s especially obvious when alcohol is involved cause the girls will flock to the alphas and everyone else gets the scraps.

    I’m in college and I know a grand total of 1 guy who can go to a bar and leave with two hot girls. I have a large social circle, and I only know one guy who can do that.

    But on the internet, everyone is alpha.

  • jurisdictum

    Alpha doesn’t exist outside of a violence hierarchy. It isn’t static. Its not a fucking personality type. Its just who happens to be the strongest. Unless you are in prison or the UFC, I wouldn’t buy into this shit. The study this is all based on isn’t even accurate because the wolves were in prison-like condition when it took place in 70s.

    You want people to treat you like your the man? Take responsibility. The more responsibilities you take on, the more human societies respect you. That’s also how wolves in the wild work as well. Women also tend to like guys that are sure of themselves — which is a lot fucking eaiser if you aren’t sitting around trying to act like “an alpha”.

    Go ahead and picture you ideal Alpha character as you understand it. How many “alphas” do you idiots imagine sit around writing articles like this? or taking them seriously?